Twenty Thousand Miles
by ValaMagic
Summary: Margaret makes some realisations after the war about her life and her choices. HM.


AN: This is just something pretty short that i wrote while i had writer's block for something else. It chronicles Margaret's ath to eventual happiness... well overview's at least ;)

Twenty Thousand Miles

As far as Margaret Houlihan was concerned sex was a tool. Albeit a very useful tool, but a tool nonetheless. Most commonly it was a tool by which new life was created, but Margaret was more accustomed to another used for it. She had learnt at a young age that you could get just about anything you wanted by using your body. Money (though the very thought repulsed her), power and even good grades could be acquired using the female form. At 15 she'd learnt that throwing the smart boys a trademark smile and a few gentle touches, maybe even a kiss would get her homework done and all the test answers into her perfect little hands. Of course stuff like that could get a girl a bad reputation, but she'd never worried much what anyone except her dad thought, and she was never around long enough for it to matter. When Margaret moved on to nursing school she'd learnt that discretion was key when charming her teachers into giving her good marks. She reasoned that it didn't matter that she used her charm since she was smarter than half of the girls there and it wasn't like she was actually having sex with them.

In the army her father had introduced her to all the right people, Generals and Colonels who could put her up for the right assignments and promotions and push them through. At first she'd thought it would be easy. Easier than high school. Flash the right person a trademark Houlihan smile and a few well chosen compliments and she'd be an officer by the end of the year. However Margaret learnt quickly that the army was full of men who wanted their needs met. On her first day of basic training her instructor had callously told her that there was a reason it was called 'this man's army' and that she would never make it through without the help of men like him. Margaret politely declined his offer, despite the many things she would have liked to say, but had thought better of. Margaret was disgusted and determined to prove the miscreant of an officer wrong. Although the officer continued to make suggestive comments to her, she worked hard and made it through basic training on her own merits. A first for Margaret Houlihan.

However Margaret soon found that she was attracted to powerful men. When General Cagen approached her shortly after basic training while she still wore only the single golden bar of a second lieutenant, and invited her to a dinner in Washington she had accepted gladly. Although Lieutenant Margaret Houlihan could admit at least to herself that her decision was in part in hopes of promotion, Major Margaret Houlihan would never have admitted such. Civilian Margaret Holulihan however, was happy to laugh about the choices she made as a young army nurse, occasionally she even had the presence of mind to feel slightly ashamed of them. Civilian Margaret often thought about how her perspectives had changed over time, but more importantly why they changed.

Margaret had watched the three star General Cagen at the party, watched how people looked at him, respected him and her for being there with him. She enjoyed that feeling, she had power over him and he had power over everyone else. When Cagen invited her back to his hotel she accepted, when he began kissing her she leaned closer and when he slid his hands under her shirt she didn't pull away.

Losing her virginity had not been part of her plan that night, but during her army career she never regretted her choice. Her promotion to first lieutenant came through two months later, during which time she spent every moment she could with Cagen. Two months after that Cagen was transferred to Texas. At his farewell bash Margaret was introduced to General Clayton, a man who certainly had plenty of power, he soon had her transferred to a nursing post in Virginia where he 

was posted, he indicated that if she performed well in Virginia then she might receive another promotion. Her father was pleased when she'd been promoted so quickly, but never question how it had happened.

Until she met Benjamin Franklin Pierce, 20,000 miles from home (wherever home was) she had never second guessed herself. In the three years they spent in Korea, Hawkeye taught her that doing good for others sake not your own was important, as was knowing yourself, but love was more important than anything else.

After the war when Margaret had resigned her commission, despite her father's protests she found herself thinking a lot about the past. It was then that the civilian Margaret Houlihan felt herself regretting her decisions. She'd lost her virginity to a man who never loved her. He'd used her like a two dollar whore, and she'd let him. Sex for promotion. It wasn't a pretty thought, she'd cried for three days before she'd ended up on Hawkeye's doorstep in charming Crabapple Cove. They were still on the doorstep when she kissed him, tears still streaming down her face. He only looked mildly surprised when she pulled away, as if he'd known all along she was coming. She supposed she had been, for the first time in her life she finally felt as if the man before her wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. When Ben Pierce finally held her close he stripped her of her clothes gently and although she'd had to travel 20,000 miles to the other side of the world Margaret finally knew what it was like to be made love to.

AN: Now it's time fo ryou to all review, otherwise i won't finish the other HM stories i'm working on.


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